


Dave: Wake up.

by itsrose



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Doomed Timelines, Meteorstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23182474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsrose/pseuds/itsrose
Summary: Dave wants coffee.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 21





	Dave: Wake up.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsdave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsdave/gifts).



ROSE: "Good morning," Dave.  
DAVE: gmrgn  
ROSE: Nice to see you up before dinner.  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: whatever  
DAVE: its not like theres actually a morning for us to get up for  
ROSE: We're all trying our best to adhere to the schedule.  
DAVE: their day is an HOUR shorter  
DAVE: forcing everybodys schedule to be a half hour off  
DAVE: just  
DAVE: doesnt  
DAVE: work  
DAVE: its messing with my biological clock  
DAVE: id know im the time guy remember  
DAVE: cmon open up  
ROSE: You know it's better than the alternative.  
ROSE: If we all stuck to our respective homeworld's clocks, eventually we will be waking up just as the trolls are going to sleep.  
DAVE: that doesnt make any sense  
DAVE: come on what the hell  
ROSE: It makes plenty of sense.  
ROSE: If we have a twenty-four hour clock, and they have a twenty-three and a half hour clock, in three and a half weeks they'll be sleeping in the middle of our day and vice versa.  
DAVE: uh huh yeah  
DAVE: whered you learn that  
DAVE: colton pierrepont central school  
ROSE: As a matter of fact, yes.  
ROSE: Not that in particular, but how to arrive at it, yes.  
ROSE: I wasn't much of a fan of the New York State school system while I was there, but you've managed to convince me that I have actually had a top notch maths education.  
DAVE: no no no  
DAVE: you dont get to say that  
DAVE: you dont get to say maths  
DAVE: no matter how close you get to your dream of being helena bonham carter youll never get to say maths  
DAVE: open  
DAVE: up  
DAVE: i swear if i cant get the coffee pod open  
DAVE: today is not the right day to have that weird film settled on my cup o joe before i even see it  
ROSE: It's never the right day for that.  
DAVE: ugh  
ROSE: Someone sounds cranky.  
ROSE: Someone sounds like they haven't been spending enough time in the Sun Room.  
DAVE: its not a sun room  
DAVE: theres no sun  
DAVE: its sunless  
DAVE: it is a sun free butt room  
DAVE: someone sounds like they havent made their way down to the butt room to bask under the four green glowing glass pipes full of weird horse chesspiece xenomorphs  
ROSE: You know, Dave.  
ROSE: It's funny you should bring up school.  
ROSE: I was thinking of science class.  
DAVE: uh huh  
ROSE: We had just learned about Newton's laws of motion before the game started.  
DAVE: i love newtons  
ROSE: Not Fig Newtons.  
ROSE: Isaac Newton was a genius who lived in seclusion during a terrible pandemic.  
DAVE: uh huh  
ROSE: He came up with a mathematical description of how the universe operates.  
ROSE: And since you've been asleep all morning, I've been able to come up with my own observation.  
ROSE: My own theory.  
DAVE: oh no  
DAVE: no no no no  
ROSE: I call it Idea Theory.  
DAVE: no no no no  
DAVE: NO  
DAVE: do NOT tell me about idea theory i want to know absolutely nothing about idea theory  
ROSE: You see,  
DAVE: no  
ROSE: I realized that if one tries to change an idea, one finds they cannot.  
ROSE: If one tries to change an idea, one only creates a new idea.  
ROSE: So, we can think of our attempt as a force, pushing on the idea.  
DAVE: just take the coffee and run dave take the coffee and run  
DAVE: why wont this OPEN  
ROSE: No matter how hard we push, it does not move.  
ROSE: All ideas have, in a sense, infinite mass.  
ROSE: Conceptual mass.  
ROSE: Alternatively, if they have finite conceptual mass, then we ourselves must have zero.  
ROSE: And yet, we are able to create new ideas from the effort.  
ROSE: Either way, we seem to have the ability to limitlessly create from ourselves an amount of conceptual mass infinity times larger than our own.  
DAVE: this is  
DAVE: literally  
DAVE: unbearable  
DAVE: did you do this  
DAVE: you locked this ahead of time somehow  
ROSE: I don't recall doing anything of the sort.  
DAVE: you did this to trap me here and tell me about idea theory  
DAVE: or give me some dumb metaphor for visualizing it  
ROSE: I really have just been trying to make pleasant conversation.  
DAVE: yeah ok sure  
DAVE: if i have to hear anything else about idea theory or knowledge categories or  
DAVE: or fucking  
DAVE: epiphany algebra  
DAVE: i swear i will break the no turntables rule and go straight to midnight if you try to tell me the rest  
ROSE: All right.  
ROSE: I won't tell you any more of my great idea.  
DAVE: you sure  
ROSE: Yes.  
DAVE:  
ROSE:  
DAVE:  
ROSE: So, I've only mentioned interactions between people and ideas, but when ideas collide with other ideas-  
DAVE: aight thats it  
DAVE: im out coffee or not  
DAVE: peace  


ROSE: and there he goe's....  



End file.
